Making Margin

I really wanted to title this post "Finding Margin." I was hopeful that this feeling of being overwhelmed could be cured with little effort on my part. But as the post rattled around in my brain and as I have wrestled with the feelings, I have realized that my anecdote is not going to just fall in my lap, but that I am going to have to actively participate.

We are halfway through our 4th year of homeschooling. The older girls attended a small private school through 2nd and 4th grade and then it closed. Joel and I spent much time praying about and considering our options for schooling our kids. I really felt called to give it a try at home. Joel thought I was a little bit crazy since it was something that I swore I would NEVER do, but supported me in the decision. It is amazing how the Lord equips and calls us to things in His timing and even if it is something we have said "never" to, it all of a sudden feels right and comes together. We also had a few close friends that were homeschooling. This definitely helped in making the decision.

During that first year of homeschooling, January was the month where I finally felt like I had hit my stride. Initially, homeschooling didn't go how I thought it would and so each month I was tweaking and rearranging until, finally, in January, I thought, I can do this. I settled into a routine, found my stride and felt confident. I try and encourage other homeschool moms in this way. I say "Just wait until January. Press on, it will get better." But now, I have come to dread January. As my kids have gotten older, they have started taking more online classes and this is the first year we have added not one but two co ops to our schedule. (Oh, how I yearn for those early days of homeschool PE at the Y and horseback riding lessons at Miracle Ranch.) January/February is the time of year where everyone is registering for next year. Next year?! I am finally in my groove for THIS year and you want me to plan next year?

Which leads me to the idea of margin. Dictionary.com describes it as the space around the written or printed matter on a page. For me, margin is the space around everything else that is going on in my life. I had a meeting with my oldest's science teacher this week and my take away from our conversation was "Leave big margins." Leave space in the schedule for being a teenager, watching the Holy Spirit move, free time, hobbies, jobs, chores. Whatever it may be, leave space, create space. In theory, I love the idea. But in reality, we have four kids, each one unique, doing different things and taking different classes. I have been so overwhelmed by this year. Not necessarily for myself but for my kids. The running, the checklists, the assignments. There hasn't been much room for anything else. It is very difficult to go backwards, to undo the commitments. As our oldest starts high school next year, I know that our schedule is not going to get any less full. So when the paper is completely filled side to side with permanent ink, how do you create margins?

This is where I am. My first inclination is to take everything and everybody off the grid. No more! Pull out of all co ops, drop all online classes, cancel all sports, music and activities. Hunker down and take back control of this crazy bus. But I'm pretty sure I would have a massive revolt on my hands. My kids really love the classes they are in and the activities that they are apart of.  I'm also not sure that this would be the way the Lord would have me handle it. So for now, I am praying more, a lot more, about what next year should look like. All the while trying to stay firmly grounded in today. Today. It has enough worries of its own. As I continue to pray, the Lord has shown me ways where He is hearing my cry and showing me there is another way. Doors are closing and others are opening. I have had meaningful conversations with wonderful people that are further along on this journey. I am thankful that they are willing to come alongside me and encourage me on the way.

I don't know what next year will hold, what the schedule will look like or how I will feel when it all unfolds but I do know that I can't just sit back and let it happen to me. I need to be fully engaged, fully armored and fully aware. I also know that I will have to fight for more margin, more space, in my life. The enemy desires to keep us overwhelmed and underwater. I will keep you posted.

How do you make margin in your life? What would you encourage me to do as I look ahead to next school year?

Why a blog, from Kari's perspective

 I LOVE blogs. I am a stalker faithful reader of many blogs, mostly of people I don't know. But I would love to know them. I would love the opportunity to sit down with these amazing women (and a few men) and have a cup of coffee, to explore deeper the things of their heart, to know more about their marriages, to hear about their kids, their struggles, their journey. I am not a Facebook girl so I see blogs as a way for me to stay connected. I also try glean as much as I can from other people's experiences. How are they running their homeschool? What are they praying for their kids? Book recommendations. Things that I can implement into my own life. I am a huge fan of not reinventing the wheel!

Just like in my mind I am a runner, I am also a blogger. No I don't actually run, I am more of a Zumba girl, but I have dreams of running long distances. I have even read books about how to train for running long distances but have never followed through. My body never seems very receptive when my feet actually hit the pavement. I also have moments of really clear (and very sporadic) journalling and clear thoughts from the Lord about whatever I am going through. But the idea of actually publishing something for other people to read was (and still is) a bit overwhelming. I am not a writer. In my eyes, Joel is the writer. He has a way of putting words together that draw people in, give a clear picture of what he is trying to say and make people feel certain things. I talk with my hands! My other hangup has always been the logistics of actually creating a blog. How? Where? Why? What would I even call it? All have been hurdles that I have not actually wanted to tackle.

One night a few weeks back, while visiting with a wonderful small group of ladies, the subject of writing a blog came up. I shared my secret fantasy of having a blog. I received overwhelming support from these amazing women. Some even helped with the logistics, laying flat those hurdles that looked so large and overwhelming. When I got home, I shared the conversation with Joel. Ironically, a few evenings prior he had expressed the desire of wanting to do something together. A job, an adventure, anything. After sharing with him the details of the blog discussion, it seemed obvious to us that this might just be the adventure that we could take on together.

And so here we are, being vulnerable and real and honest about our ins and outs. So scary, yet so exciting at the same time. I think I thought we would start off slow, talking about the little funnies of our kids, but I think we're jumping in with both feet. I am thankful for Joel's leadership in this area. I am one who takes very small steps (smaller than baby steps) and he tends to calculate the risk and jump. I will grab on with one hand and cling to the wall with the other. I know that the Lord will help pry off the other hand in His good timing.

I am hoping that our posts will encourage you. That by us sharing the good, the bad and the ugly about our crazy family life, our marriage and ourselves that you will find strength to continue to press on in your own journey. Lord knows we all need a little help along the way. And to know that there are others out there in the boat along with us sure brings peace and comfort.

Why a Blog, from Joel's Perspective

Full disclosure up front: I don't consider myself a writer.  I write in the same way I golf.  I enjoy it, mostly.  But lets be honest: Tiger Woods and Phil Mickelson are golfers; people like me who populate the courses around the country on a given Saturday are not.  We are people that enjoy the sport and wish we could be better at it, but at best, our skills are limited by the physical and mental limitations that separate the truly great players from those who simply wish they were and by the importance golf has in our lives (sometimes more important than watching television and sometimes less important than grocery shopping).