Not Bubble Wrap

This is the time of year when school starts to wind down for us (yesterday was Emy's last day of 8th grade!) and I begin to think about our plans for next year. Every year, Joel and I take a look at each of our kids, determine needs and goals and attempt to chart a course that best fits them and our family. It is also the time of year where I reflect on how I've come up short, failed to meet an objective or have done a disservice to one or all of my kids. Since I have also had quite a few people ask me over the past several weeks about why we homeschool and to avoid the ever spiraling "I could have done better" narrative, I thought this the perfect time to document the "why" of our homeschool journey.

Joel and I are both "trained" school teachers. I have my elementary teaching certificate and he has his secondary teaching certificate. We both spent about 5 years teaching in the public schools and neither of us ever imagined that we would wind up homeschooling our kids. I remember when Rylee was about 4, Joel asked if I would ever consider homeschooling. My answer was a clear "NO WAY!" Or as Joel recalls "Over my dead body!" Either way, I knew she and I would butt heads and was convinced that she would never be able to learn from me.

Rylee started Kindergarten at a small private school, Providence Christian School and Joel and I were involved from day one. Joel was part of the board and I had the opportunity to help choose curriculum, write objectives, and train teachers. The small class sizes, loving teachers and Christ centered education was precious and the lessons we learned during that season are for another post. But like with many, homegrown, grassroots, types of things, our numbers dwindled and the school closed its doors when Rylee and Emy were in 4th and 2nd grade respectively. I had spent that last school year visiting different schools in the area and none fit the specific type of education that I was seeking for my kids. I had had a few friends that already dipped their toe in the homeschooling waters and after lots of prayer, I knew I could at least give it a try.

I have such wonderful, fond memories of those first few years of homeschooling. 5th grade, 3rd grade, kindergarten and a toddler. (Jack and Halle are actually just finishing 2nd and 4th grade and it is crazy to feel like I am beginning the journey all over.) During those early days, we had so much time. We were no longer bound by someone else's schedule. The kids could sleep in, stay in their jammies for the morning, I didn't have to pack lunches everyday or make sure the uniforms were clean and accounted for. As the kids have grown and their stages of life change, Joel and I revisit the homeschooling conversation often. But at the end of the day, we come back to the same conclusion, homeschooling is best for our family.


First off, I want to start by sharing what we believe homeschooling is and what it is not for our family. Homeschooling is not "the end all be all." It is not for every family and it is not for every kid. It is what we have found to best for our family and best for our kids right now. In the end, my kids and how they grow and develop is what is most important to me, not where they do it. Joel and I evaluate each year and each kid to determine what is best. Homeschooling is not me standing at the whiteboard teaching all day while the kids sit at desks and learn. Instead, it is me one on one with each of them. Jack and I work specifically on his reading, spelling and handwriting curriculum. He needs my complete attention. We put a "Do not interrupt" sign on the door and press on until we are finished. We also work together on his reflex therapies that we started while at Hands on Learning Solutions. With math, though, he is fairly independent. We have used a program called Teaching Textbooks for quite a few years. The program is comprehensive and allows the kids to quickly become  independent in their studies. Halle needs me too but in different ways. Sometimes she really needs my help. Other times she wants me to sit by her and cheer her on, keep her company. School isn't her favorite and she needs all the encouraging she can get. The big girls have a school space in the house where they work. They plug in their headphones and plow through their to-do list. Occasionally they need help or a prod and I am available to walk with them. Of course, it has taken time and training to get to this point. Over the years, I have been able to teach them how to plan out their days, seek the help they need and manage their time in order to complete their required work.

Homeschooling is not easy all the time. As I originally feared, we definitely have our days where the kids and I butt heads. They have a tantrum about doing school or I do. But on these days, it is okay to pick up plan B. Play outside first, read together, clean the house, rest a day. We each have our days where we feel less than motivated to do what we are supposed to do. Homeschooling allows us grace to teach our kids how to deal with these kinds of days productively in order to come back and finish their responsibilities.

Homeschooling also isn't bubble wrap in disguise. Joel and I haven't chosen to keep our kids home because we don't want them exposed to the world. Our kids interact daily with the world. We talk a lot about the world and their experiences in it. We aren't shielding them from the world, we are experiencing it with them. We want our kids to have a firm foundation of who they are, who God is  and a worldview that is aligned with God's Word. But this can't be ours. It has to be theirs. It has been a great joy to have Rylee experience college life while living at home. The conversations about what she is experiencing with the students and staff at school have been rich and rewarding. She continues to grow in her faith and her relationship with the Lord is her own but her foundation is firm and her worldview also her own. For us, homeschooling is a way for Joel and I to have input in what our kids are learning, who they are learning it from and the amount of time they spend learning each thing. We have specific goals for each kid and we carefully guide each step as they head down that path.


The main reason we decided to homeschool is because Joel and I fell in love with Classical Education while we were at Providence. During our time there, we read the book "Recovering the Lost Tools of Learning" by Doug Wilson. The book and its principles for education made so much sense. After both Joel and I had grown up in the public education system and had both been teachers in it, we knew the weaknesses and the holes. There weren't many people talking about different kinds of education. Instead people were talking about curriculums and programs, tracks, money, teachers. Classical Education is an approach to education that takes into account the way people grow, learn and mature. The early stages of education from preschool to later elementary school focus on the "Grammar" stage. No this isn't diagraming sentences, that comes later. The term"Grammar" refers to the basic, foundational pieces of learning. It refers to vocabulary and terms for different subjects. For instance, in math, the focus is on memorizing math facts and laws. In History, the student memorizes dates, names, places, and events. In English, the student memorizes different parts of speech, types of verbs, grammar rules. The mind of these young students has a great propensity for memorization. They are like sponges, literally, soaking in every bit of information that comes their way. The next stage, which applies to late elementary through middle school is the "Dialectic" stage or the "why" stage. During this stage, students spend time engaging in conversation with their peers and with loving adults, asking the "why" about the "what" which they learned in the Grammar stage. They dig deep into the Roman Republic, the Middle Ages, the Declaration of Independence. They ask questions and make connections. They debate with one another and dive in to find the answers they are looking for. Finally, the "Rhetoric" stage begins at the end of middle school and goes through high school. During this stage, the student determines truth about what they are learning and is able to teach it to others. There is an emphasis during this stage on communicating through writing and speech.

This method of learning is actually something that will serve my children well throughout their life. Anytime they want to learn something new, these are the steps they will take. If they want to learn how to change the oil in their car they will first need to learn the vocabulary and terms that are associated with oil changing. The names of the parts of the car, the type of oil they will use, what kind of filter is needed, etc. Then they ask questions. They would find the people or YouTube video that can help and ask, ask, ask. Demonstrations, discussions, hands-on opportunities~yes please! Finally, give it a try and practice changing their oil every 3,000 miles until they have it down well enough that they can teach someone else. Maybe even throwing in the tricks and tips that they've learned along the way.  This method can be used anytime a person is interesting in learning something new-gardening, interior design, sewing, cooking, you name it! It creates life long learners in my children and along the way, I too am reclaiming what was lost in my own educational experience. The reason I learned was to pass the test. I didn't have any desire to retain the information beyond getting my "A." The more I have learned with my kids, the more I have realized that I missed out. I missed out on learning how to learn and learning how to think. I became lazy with the spoon feeding of information and didn't find it necessary to do it on my own. I want more for my children.

Another reason we homeschool that has become a front runner for us is that it allows us to spend a huge amount of time on the character building of our kids. Each one of them, like us, has unique character strengths and weaknesses as well as academic strengths and weaknesses. Because I am their primary teacher and caregiver throughout the day, I am able to guide, correct and discipline based on our values and desired outcomes. When young, our kids are so impressionable and easily pick up the behaviors and mannerisms of those they spend the most time with. While we are certainly not perfect, Joel and I want the main fingerprints on their lives to be ours.Their character and how they interact with people in the world is extremely important to Joel and I. Our goal is to raise our kids to be able to interact with any person about any subject and to do it with the love of Christ.

Homeschooling also allows the kids more flexible time and opportunities to do things that they might not get to do if they were attending school during regular school hours. Three of the four of them have taken advantage of the opportunity to work during the day. People are always looking for babysitters and most kids aren't around during the day. My girls have fully capitalized on this opportunity to have a job while still doing their school full time. The kids have also enjoyed taking part in other activities geared toward homeschool students. Over the years they have played violin, taken horseback riding lessons, done rock climbing and swimming at the Y, taken piano lessons, and art lessons. Businesses are excited to provide activities to kids during the day when most kids are typically in school. I have also found that it is easier to schedule dentist appts, haircuts, doctors appts and the like during the day. All of this with the bonus of not having homework in the evenings. As the kids get older and their coursework is more rigorous, their schedules become fuller, so there are times when they have an assignment or two to complete in the evenings. But overall, evenings have been for their activities or family time.

The final reason we homeschool and the one we keep coming back to over and over again,  is because as Joel referenced in a previous post, time is flying! Our children are growing up quickly. In the early years of homeschooling, we took full advantage of the flexibility of the schedule. We could do school anywhere and anytime. One of our favorite road trips is the one we took to Disneyland and the Grand Canyon. We left right after Labor Day when everyone else was starting school. (Disneyland is dreamy the second week of September!) Now, in what seems like just a short time later,  it is hard to believe that Rylee could have only one year left at home. Contrary to our beliefs, part of me desperately wants to put my kids in a bubble and a time machine. I want to keep them little and I would love to go back in time and enjoy the early years knowing what I know now.

But as fast as time is moving, homeschooling our kids has given us more time with them. No, they aren't home 24/7. But for the majority of their school hours, they are home. Studying in the school room, at the dining room table, in their bed, in the living room. They come to the kitchen table for lunch. They take breaks to do laundry, clean house, play with a sibling, give mom a break, help with dinner. We are together. I get to participate in the music playing, the fighting, the conversations. As Rylee's high school years quickly come to a close, I feel like I have enjoyed being with her as much as I can. As Emy gets ready to spread her wings and walk through doors that her passion for dance may open, I am ready. I have cherished the time we have had together. My prayer is that it will be the same way with the others as well. I look forward to spending more time with Jack and Halle. Enjoying them as they get older and savoring our time together before they grow up and move out.


If you have made it this far, thanks for reading! Maybe you read this far because you are kind (bless you) or you are a finisher and stopping part way through just isn't who you are (lucky!) Or maybe you read the whole post because you are curious about homeschooling and are wondering what it might look like for your family. I would love to sit down with you over a cup of coffee and chat about it.  I am also in the process of putting together a post about what the day ins and outs look like for our family. I really love homeschooling and could talk about it for hours. Homeschooling has definitely been a sacrifice for us in so many ways but has blessed us beyond what we could imagine! I would do it all again in a heartbeat!