Making Margin

I really wanted to title this post "Finding Margin." I was hopeful that this feeling of being overwhelmed could be cured with little effort on my part. But as the post rattled around in my brain and as I have wrestled with the feelings, I have realized that my anecdote is not going to just fall in my lap, but that I am going to have to actively participate.

We are halfway through our 4th year of homeschooling. The older girls attended a small private school through 2nd and 4th grade and then it closed. Joel and I spent much time praying about and considering our options for schooling our kids. I really felt called to give it a try at home. Joel thought I was a little bit crazy since it was something that I swore I would NEVER do, but supported me in the decision. It is amazing how the Lord equips and calls us to things in His timing and even if it is something we have said "never" to, it all of a sudden feels right and comes together. We also had a few close friends that were homeschooling. This definitely helped in making the decision.

During that first year of homeschooling, January was the month where I finally felt like I had hit my stride. Initially, homeschooling didn't go how I thought it would and so each month I was tweaking and rearranging until, finally, in January, I thought, I can do this. I settled into a routine, found my stride and felt confident. I try and encourage other homeschool moms in this way. I say "Just wait until January. Press on, it will get better." But now, I have come to dread January. As my kids have gotten older, they have started taking more online classes and this is the first year we have added not one but two co ops to our schedule. (Oh, how I yearn for those early days of homeschool PE at the Y and horseback riding lessons at Miracle Ranch.) January/February is the time of year where everyone is registering for next year. Next year?! I am finally in my groove for THIS year and you want me to plan next year?

Which leads me to the idea of margin. Dictionary.com describes it as the space around the written or printed matter on a page. For me, margin is the space around everything else that is going on in my life. I had a meeting with my oldest's science teacher this week and my take away from our conversation was "Leave big margins." Leave space in the schedule for being a teenager, watching the Holy Spirit move, free time, hobbies, jobs, chores. Whatever it may be, leave space, create space. In theory, I love the idea. But in reality, we have four kids, each one unique, doing different things and taking different classes. I have been so overwhelmed by this year. Not necessarily for myself but for my kids. The running, the checklists, the assignments. There hasn't been much room for anything else. It is very difficult to go backwards, to undo the commitments. As our oldest starts high school next year, I know that our schedule is not going to get any less full. So when the paper is completely filled side to side with permanent ink, how do you create margins?

This is where I am. My first inclination is to take everything and everybody off the grid. No more! Pull out of all co ops, drop all online classes, cancel all sports, music and activities. Hunker down and take back control of this crazy bus. But I'm pretty sure I would have a massive revolt on my hands. My kids really love the classes they are in and the activities that they are apart of.  I'm also not sure that this would be the way the Lord would have me handle it. So for now, I am praying more, a lot more, about what next year should look like. All the while trying to stay firmly grounded in today. Today. It has enough worries of its own. As I continue to pray, the Lord has shown me ways where He is hearing my cry and showing me there is another way. Doors are closing and others are opening. I have had meaningful conversations with wonderful people that are further along on this journey. I am thankful that they are willing to come alongside me and encourage me on the way.

I don't know what next year will hold, what the schedule will look like or how I will feel when it all unfolds but I do know that I can't just sit back and let it happen to me. I need to be fully engaged, fully armored and fully aware. I also know that I will have to fight for more margin, more space, in my life. The enemy desires to keep us overwhelmed and underwater. I will keep you posted.

How do you make margin in your life? What would you encourage me to do as I look ahead to next school year?