It's Not All About Me

I know, I know, I can hear the audible gasp as you read this blog post title. "What?" you are thinking. "Where is she getting this crazy notion?" Or maybe you're chuckling to yourself thinking, "Well, duh. Of course it is not all about you." Whatever your reaction, I am always amazed when I have to be reminded that it is not all about me. Why is this a lesson so hard to learn and so easy to forget?

A few weeks back, I took the girls to piano lessons. They take lessons from a dear friend. She is a wonderful piano teacher but even more than that she is a mentor to the girls. They always get through their lessons and somehow manage to find time to make cookies, create homemade cards, read American Girl magazines and chit chat. I feel so blessed that my girls have someone like her in their life. My friend has a passion for leading and small groups. Not only young girls, but also teens and  women. She leads a group for women once a month that is open to anyone. It is a mid-week, mid-month refresher that is meant to encourage women regardless of the season they are in. A vision given to my friend almost 18 years ago and finally fulfilled 2 years ago. Such an inspiration to me!

But a few weeks ago, as I picked up the girls, my friend asked if I'd be willing to do a short "anchor" moment at their next meeting. My first reaction was "No!" I had a lot more words (totally inappropriate ones) run through my head but was respectful with my "no thanks, not now." Just the thought of it sent terror through my body. The next day, as I was having my quiet time with the Lord, I was struck with the realization that someone had asked me to share a brief snippet of something the Lord was doing in my life and I said no. In an essence I was saying, "No thanks, I'll keep this one just for me." A strong feeling of conviction surged through me. I felt like the Lord was saying, "Yes, I do want to bless you but I also want to bless others through you. Sometimes the gifts I give you, are meant to be shared." How do you say no when God asks you to share something?

As I continued in my quiet time, I was reminded of a post by Ann Voskamp about a "No Fear New Year." This has been my mantra each time I am faced with a situation where my initial reaction is anxiety or fear. I want this year to be different. NO FEAR. Well fear was definitely what was controlling my decision about not wanting to share at my friend's gathering. I have a hard enough time talking myself off the ledge before a Norwex party, I can only imagine the anxiety I will feel before I share with this group. But, there are definitely things that I have been learning over the last few months that I could share with these women and potentially bless them and because of fear, I wanted to keep it all to myself.  So, I texted my friend and told her I'd do it. Believe me, it will only be with Jesus at my side. Can't fathom doing it without it. But I know He will be there because it's not all about me. It is about all of those other women who are aching to be touched by God and He doesn't miss an opportunity!